Hide & Seek
by summerxsky
Summary: House drags Wilson along with him whilst he hides from Cuddy. Short and sweet [and hopefully funny!]. I've tweaked it a little, but not much.


**A/N**: Okay, I haven't given up on 'Amnesia'… This is just a short drabble-ish piece that came to me.

Disclaimer: Do not own House MD or any of the characters. Or Mr Blobby, who is a fat, pink...err...blobby thing covered in dots. Google him. I think he's a British 'creation' - I do know House and co. are American, but you never know...

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**HIDE & SEEK**

"Remind me, _why _are we hiding out here?" asked a bewildered Wilson. House shrugged. "And why is Cuddy looking for you?"

"Questions, questions," said House, peering round the door. "But the big one is…why are you here with me?"

"Well, I –"

"Did Cuddy send you to spy on me? If I'd known how obsessed she was with me –"

"Yes, she harbours a secret undying passion for you."

"Oh, stop. You're embarrassing me." Wilson gave a disbelieving laugh before House held up his hand. "Shh! She's coming," he whispered dramatically. The two men quietened as they heard the all-too familiar click of high heels.

"House! When I find you…"

"She sounds angry."

"And I wonder why?" said Wilson looking at him pointedly. House feigned a hurt look and sat down on an upturned bucket in the corner, taking out his beloved bottle of Vicodin. "She's gone. Now will you tell me why you – we – are hiding here? Has it got anything to do with that guy –"

"I love '20 Questions'."

"House."

"Yes, Mummy?" Wilson glared at his friend. "Look, all I did was give him my _medical_ opinion!"

"Medical being telling him he looked like –"

"What is it with you and all the little details?"

"You asked him if he was trying to pass for Mr Blobby or if he just looked like that naturally!"

"I was being creative. You of all people should approve. Always going on about releasing my artistic side…"

"I only suggested that it wouldn't hurt to be a bit more sensitive towards other people's feelings. Do the right thing for once."

"The right thing," mused House, tilting his head to one side and watching his friend closely. "Would that be like telling my wife that I was having an affair?"

"Don't go there, House."

"Wouldn't dream of it." They were silent for a few moments. "So how did you go about it? 'Lovely, pasta, Anna. And by the way, I'm screwing one of the nurses in Radiology.'"

"You have got to be kidding."

"About the pasta? Yeah. Anna couldn't even make toast."

"Sounds like someone I know. And her name was Alice."

"_Sor_-ree. _So_ many women, I lost track. Hey - are you comparing her with me?" House said, twirling his cane dangerously close to Wilson's wary face. "For future reference, I won't sleep with you. Guilt sex just doesn't do it for me. Revenge sex, well, I don't know. I'll get back to you on that one." Wilson glared at his friend.

"You really know how to make a guy feel better, don't you?"

"What can I say? I'm a people person." House grinned as Wilson leaned against the wall in the cramped room.

"Don't you think this is getting a bit claustrophobic?"

"Nope, I really like the smell: '_Lemon Zing'_," said House sardonically, inhaling deeply. Wilson shook his head in incredulity. "Oh, don't do that. Makes me feel like I did something wrong."

"And that little feeling inside of you is called _guilt_," said Wilson. "Maybe you did do something wrong -"

"You know, I think my mother told me about that once. Wasn't interested," replied House thoughtfully, ignoring his last comment. Wilson hid a smile behind his hand.

"Let me get this straight. We are hiding out in the janitor's closet because _you_ – emphasis on the 'you' here – pissed Cuddy off?"

"Yeah. Sweet of you to keep me company."

"What? You told me we were going to lunch!"

"On the _second_ floor? Ooh…was that a flying pig?"

"It'll be a flying cane soon."

"Someone needs their nap," said House, prodding Wilson with his (currently stationary) cane.

"Ouch! Why do have to be so childish?" he winced, trying to move out of the way (which proved quite difficult considering the small amount of floor space). "Nap, no. _Lunch_, hmm, maybe."

"Touchy, touchy." House smirked and unwrapped a lollipop. "You know, being childish is one of my many charms."

"Right, I'm going." Wilson put his hand on the handle and twisted it, pushingthe dooropen so a crack of light shone through.

"Okay," said House cheerfully. "'Bye!" Wilson looked at the older man suspiciously. "Go! I set you free." He gave Wilson a wave, prodded him once more and took out his iPod. "I'm going to have a little snooze." Wilson shook his head and opened the door.

"Wilson! What are you doing in the… in the _janitor's closet_?" House winced and tried to close the door.

"I – I was –"

"Is House in there?"

"Well, I don't –" Cuddy pushed the door open and glared at the doctor.

"I got… lost?" suggested House innocently.

"My office," she said. "_Now_!" House scowled at his friend and followed Cuddy down the corridor. Wilson walked back to his office, stomach rumbling as he avoided the amused glances from the nurses.

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**A/N**: Please review! I love reviews… If enough people want me to, I'll write a sequel. ;) 


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